Buck Up, its a New Year Alright!
So enter 2013, can we take a moment to think about that for a second? You see, to me, a new year always brings with it a sense of anxiety that is not necessarily bad. A little bit of anxiety seems to motivate me into getting things done and making a better me. Of course some Yogi tea was in order because I was trying to veg-out and my incessant nature of needing to accomplish something was hankering at me. I told myself that I was going to relax for a whole day and I did, for the most part, but without thinking about productivity and what I want 2013 to do for me. As I sipped my Kava root tea I thought about the direction I want to go, the things I have yet to accomplish and the people I still need to show gratitude for.
I want to take my career in a solid direction – I love technology, helping people and using my knowledge to create meaningful things. In reality I am a crafts-woman, I build things; whether they are computers, websites, productions, gardens, schools, storyboards, or films. I take pleasure in making things work and putting my final touches on it, after all an artist is only as unique as her art. I remember walking with a friend of mine during Art Basel and I was asked, ‘so what is it that you really like to do?” I said “making things work and finding the stories in life that are so wonderful and beautiful, yet overlooked because at first glance it seems dull and (in the words of big TV and movie executives) not very profitable.” I got told “wow, that’s deep” as if I were an oddball (well maybe I am a little bit of an oddball, but I like it). Everyday I thank the stars for the struggles and false starts that you would seem to think were failure. In reality, it was triumph over what everyone else thought I should be, I won the person I want to be not the one people expected me to be.
No Bullshit
My personal life fills me with joy and I want to continue to harbor and nourish my fulfillment by surrounding myself with the people I love and love me back. The night the clock stroke midnight and I bid farewell to 2012, I observed things within in my surroundings which – in turn – made me observe things in myself. Here’s what I learned for 2013 – the happier you are the more you must guard your spirit from those who may not be as happy. Show kindness to these people and be strong when they test you and your patience, these are the folks that want to invoke the insecurities in you so that it reflects the ones in themselves. Recognize those with true light in their hearts, encourage them to be as awesome as you know they can, tell them you are pulling for them all the way and that they rock. Generosity is a commendable virtue and we can be generous but we also have to remember that taking care of our own is a priority. Only after we are certain to be standing on the strongest foundation built by our own two hands is when we can help others and even then people will recognize your generosity and extend hands falsely. A true craftsmen knows that the things she (he) builds can never be broken or damaged by anyone else except themselves. Your spirit is your own and only you can determine whether others will hack at it to destroy it – the power is yours, not theirs. Those who are around you and make you feel calmer, encourage positive vibes and well being are the ones that belong there – you know who they are, honor and respect them.
We all have our rituals, its a cultural thing, some of us eat twelve grapes at midnight, others walk around the house with a suit case to promote travel and a good amount of us kiss our love at midnight. Last night I had a great meal with family, it was the first dinner of the New Year and everyone was calm. We were dressed in comfy clothes, we ate and drank from disposable (and recyclable china) and the chefs prepared a very healthy meal – so we started our year right; no drama, no frills and genuineness. The glitzier things appear the less real they are. Rhinestones always shine in the light but take no time to become dull, diamonds take a long time to shine but the more time passes, the brighter and shinier they become. How about we buck up, recognize what is real and kick 2013 in the butt so it has no choice but to do everything you need it to do for you.
Open the Doors of Perception, Embrace the Light
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
— Lao Tzu
It hit me during lunch today as I was enjoying the company of a colleague I had not seen in the flesh in over five years. I am compelled to say “in the flesh” because we are all aware of each other’s presence online thanks to social media. Our perception of who we are has shifted from knowing who we are to knowing what we are online. It suddenly becomes a matter of what we look like on the computer monitor or how many places you have checked into, just to make sure the rest of your online friends are aware of the amazing things you are doing.
The last couple of years we take group photos and prompt the whole thing with the famous words “let’s take a picture for Facebook.” Where did the line that says “let’s take a picture of this awesome moment so we don’t forget it” go? I challenge you to stop looking through that viewfinder that is your camera phone and start feeling the moments around you.
There will always be a reality behind the doors of perception. Evil lurks in places you think may be good and people harbor truth in their soul – regardless of what they want you to perceive. People in India right now are getting ready to celebrate Diwali, the festival of lights. They share their time together and light rows of candles as a celebration of the triumph of good over evil. It also signifies a time in history when Mahavira reached nirvana in 527 BC.
Diwali in India
To liberate one’s self, Mahavira taught the necessity of right faith (samyak-darshana), right knowledge (samyak-gyana), and right conduct (samyak-charitra’). Of course in order to reach our own versions of nirvana we need to connect to what is the most real thing in our lives, and that would be the person that lies within your soul (not the one that lives on your computer screen). Three simple concepts to opening the doors of perception into a blissful state full of light; faith, knowledge and conduct.
Take the time today to reach the truth in yourself, once you have come to happy terms with your truth be honest with the people you have chosen to surround yourself with. Love and light can only prosper in truth.
The Beauty of Being this Woman
Modern, forward-thinking and ambitious are three things I can safely align my personality traits with. I am a woman hell bent on making it to the top in my business world with goals of completing an MBA, earning six figures (and beyond) and leaving my mark on society-with my involvement in the hard knocks issues dealing with public education and politics. There is a moment in life where you have to put your big girl panties on, and hold on tight to those britches, because in the moment you (as a woman) get emotional or maternal, are toast in the world of corporate ladders and six figure salaries.
The beauty about being this woman (Yendi Valdes) is that for as much as I’m going to attain my goals, break glass ceilings and reach the top of the ladders I find comfort in serving a plate of dinner for the men in my family (feminists smack your foreheads now). There is something refreshing about spoiling my guys rotten with the things my grandparents think are necessary – and you know what, they are right. It may be a cultural thing, but to me it is recognition of the importance of keeping my family together and finding comfort and happiness in their comfort and happiness. My mom is one of the strongest, bravest, most modern women I know and she still serves up a hot plate for my twenty year old brother. Abuela takes pride in setting the table complete with silverware, napkins and a full plate of dinner for Abuelo every single night. It is the time honored traditions that we as Cubans and Cuban-descent treasure (for as modern as we are).
There is a saying that goes something like this – behind a happy man is a good Cuban woman (maybe I just made that up) and that is because we have learned to take the time to care for our men and nurture them. In a way, it makes us the CEO’s and COO’s of our family units. Lao Tzu stated that to lead people you must walk behind them – and that my friends are what we, the Cuban women and their descendants, do. With professors like my Abuela I have learned the beauty of leading through servitude and I know things will always be alright because we can handle it. Nothing motivates a man more than knowing a strong woman who supports him says “I got you” and nothing can make him happier than setting a hot home cooked plate in front of him with care. Everything I need to know about leading corporations I learned from serving my Dad’s plate during dinner time.
Think about that one.
Enter Summer
Its June and almost 100 degrees outside and my hometown basketball team just won the championship – which only means – its Summer! Its that time where you can kick off your shoes along with memories and thoughts you no longer need. Summer is about flip flops, letting your hair grow out, reading books cover to cover on the beach under you favorite palm tree and looking at the world with renewed freshness (I even got a new pair of glasses minus the rose colored lenses).
Yendi’s New Non-Rose Colored Specs
We are creatures of habit even when we try to take a new path or read self-improvement books. I have this innate quality of looking at the world through those rose colored glasses. Don’t get me wrong, its not necessarily a bad thing, but it can lead you to your very own disappointments of things that may have already played out in your mind. At the very center of who we are, there is a habit mechanism of which we are all slaves to. Some try to quit smoking but they cannot get over the hand-to-mouth fixation others try to commit to relationships but have trouble going outside their daily routine to accommodate someone else. None of this makes us bad people, it just makes us human. Who wouldn’t want to believe that you, yourself, are the most amazing most special person who totally belongs with that other most spectacular person? We are all amazing and special in our own way and to different people (not necessarily the ones we think should view us that way, but to the ones that were meant to see our true value).
To me summer is a time for renewal and re-thinking this whole thing called life. Sometimes we complicate ourselves so much and get wrapped up in the rush of everything that surrounds us that we forget the delicious simplicity of summer. Things like strawberries and mangoes, sitting on the dock at twilight, and making out with your crush under the rain are all the beautiful things the universe supplies us as a reminder that life should be approached just like the summer. Recharging the human battery and letting the summer tides roll away with the thoughts and perceptions you no longer need is how we get one step closer our true self.
Let the summer sun clear away that rose tint on your glasses. Sit on the dock and eat a mango you picked off of a tree or go to your spot on the beach where only those that know you well enough can find you. Get crazy and go skinny dipping at night without worrying about the sharks and let yourself fall in love. Summertime is my time to climb to that platform and jump. Stay tuned my friends, the summer is just getting started.
Pushing the Mountains
In life we are always presented with mountains; some have been placed there by our predecessors and some we have created all on our own. When do we evaluate the probabilities of actually moving those mountains? The mountains that were put there by no fault of our own are the kind that were in the waiting line at the food stamp offices or the corners we had to walk by in the hood in order to get to school. Those are the mountains that build character, strength, integrity and principle. Mountains as big as living in the projects and trailer parks are so easily movable that it becomes a question of whether you want them out of the way or not.
In life, mountains as big as welfare life and ghetto neighborhoods can cast the darkest shadows on anyone’s world – it takes courage to shine the light within you to move those shadows away. That light that shines so bright and warm at the center of your core is the light that makes the mountain a memory. Despite your circumstances or the unjust of it all – you have to keep believing in yourself and the power you posses at your core. You know you can handle it.
There are mountains we cultivate all on our own and those are probably the heaviest to move and the darkest. Mountains named “I Can’t Do This” and “I Have Nothing Left” are some pretty tough ones because they activate a sense of loathing from within. We dig holes and tunnels so deep in those mountains that we never really find a way through or around it, so it leaves us no other choice but to move them. Begin with a single rock at the base of the mountain, find the thought that harbors these feelings and confront them. You cannot move your circumstantial mountains like the ghetto and the food stamps if you have not conquered the biggest and darkest mountain within you.
Just stand in mountain pose for five minutes, take a deep breath, reach into your core and let all mental kinks release with your exhale, there, don’t you feel better?
Move the Mountains
Loving
One of the greatest mysterious we as humans spend a lifetime trying to uncover is the wonderment of love. Whether you love, they love, she loves or he loves; its all about the right kind of love. In the most intense of conundrums; I have learned that a man who assigns the act of making a woman smile to another man willfully allows and accepts the possibility of losing her without even trying to win her himself. Yes, usually there is a bright and cheery sentiment in my blog entries – and you would think with a title like “Loving” the flow of optimism would be obvious (well of course there is always optimism – its what I strive for in my constant ramblings of thoughts) but we need to be realistic so as to make sure the person that is most important to you is loved by you – and that would be you.
Love is the Message
I will not disappoint you with this one, because for the sake of hope and all that is wonderful in the world, I still believe that love is the message and loving is the way to get to our human happy place. Without love there would be no love-making, which makes the babies, and we all know how important the babies are. I take complete guidance from the love Abuelo and Abuela have (I have even honored it in previous postings) – two people just like you and I who made babies that made this baby writing now. They took their love in complete faith – which I would imagine is how it should be done. She believed in him so much when he was working hard to get the family out of Cuba and even now as they live the later years of life with health issues and the constant reminder of time. How can we believe in another person so much, so blindly and so whole-heartedly without so much as a thought to what we will gain for ourselves?
Where does the justification of such actions place itself when the other person doesn’t believe? I will tell you where; in your own strength and your own energy which will, in turn, open your heart to yourself and your true love. Following the flow of the universe is a sacred ritual and I have become more adept to it as well as to listening with my gut and my heart – it is important to trust your instinct. Bare in mind of the people created for the sole purpose of creating rifts in your heart and rifts in between you and the person you love – forgive them – they can only emulate what you have in your heart.
When the heart possesses something that is beyond the mind and is connected directly to the soul there is no amount of worldly mistakes either of you can make that is not forgiven. Love has no reference of time – no beginning and no end – it is everlasting. Every time you think of that person your heart shines for a brief minute and then the surrounding universe displays its approval of that love by rewarding you with the things you need only to get closer to the one that you love. You see I told you it would be positive. Life is now, today, this moment right here – all that has happened is in the past and all the will happen is up to you – time is the only thing we cannot afford to waste. How much love do you have in your heart?
Determination, Justification, Adoration
The helpless are helpless because they do not help themselves. Be the best you can be and everything else will fall into place – as it should.
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions…
In life, we are presented with situations where we must make decisions. There are the decisions we make like choosing a career path which can be extremely fulfilling and triumphant and there are the decisions we make after drinking a half a bottle of tequila on Cinco de Mayo. Each decision we make brings an onset of consequential events that start with self-realization and end with universal reaction.
A decision on Cinco de Mayo may result differently than the decision you make to bravely move forward in the direction of certainty within yourself, or do they? Being the purveyor of positiveness, I believe the Cinco de Mayo decisions we have all made could propel us onto a path of certainty from a situation of outside influenced stupors. Perhaps the uninhibited reactions thrown at you were enough to steer you away from the situation the universe feels is not for you.
Of course, I use Cinco de Mayo as a point of reference for the sake of giving the events of unexpectedness a name – it can happen at any time in any situation, the trick is to learn to listen with your feelings. Sometimes we have to take it in and even take blame for our own actions. Other times its exactly what we need to understand whatever the hell is going on around us. We even use those events to move on – so you really cannot beat yourself up about it – its okay, forgive yourself you are only human.
Better decisions like Sunday pool parties with the family make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I know that pulling up to my grandparents house on the weekends is a good decision because I breathe a sigh of relief and tell myself “I’m home.” Then the universe throws Abuela’s home cooking and kitchen lessons and life is good.
Challenging decisions like the career path you embark on can be scary yet invigorating all at the same time. The universe decided you needed to discover the best in you in order to give it back. With a turbo charge of self encouragement only you can make the decision in your life; whether they are the best ones or the not so great ones – all of it is a learning experience with nothing but silver lining and beautiful light.
We may not be perfect, but we’re perfect just the way we are and the universe will never leave you hanging – only the decisions you make can have an impact on how you are left hanging. Sometimes what you think is “left hanging” can really be a push onto your next chapter. We are human beings with shortcomings and imperfections and, hey, if listening to Jimmy Buffett while roasting in the sun and drinking really good tequila leads to a decision – then next year will be different. There is nothing much else we can do after its done except learn something about yourself from it.
Viva la Vida!
Respect and Admiration
Its the perfect formula and standard as to which you uphold your charted path for personal growth.
Beginning with respect and admiration for yourself. Once that happens, then you may live happily ever after. After all, why would you want to align yourself with energies that don’t treasure your role in life and your presence in theirs. You have to begin within yourself, at the core. A simple concept of nature to understand, and the basic principle in the practice of Buddhism.
The more you mature in life, the more you understand and accept the concept of human interaction and its purpose for continued growth – whether personally or biologically. At the very basis of any human relationship there is a basic understanding of respect. Only when respect has been established can you earn the admiration of said human.
When a bag full of air begins to blow or a bucket of water begins to fill, eventually you’ll reach the brim. Once you get to that very edge things boil over and fizzle out. Only when you truly have earned the respect and admiration of the other is when you can begin to understand each other – and yourself.
So as an affirmation to yourself, never tell you or others you are a loser for not doing things, when in fact you are amazing for doing so many incredible things. Take a deep breath and understand that life pans out as it should and you make a couple of decisions on a couple of different days in your life that take you on that course (whatever it may be). Make love in action not just words – true respect and admiration is felt to the bone. Passion is never lost when you admire the person you are loving.
Lessons are the most valuable part of any social interaction between humans; how else are we supposed to develop to full potential if we don’t study the events that have occurred in order to prepare for the ones that haven’t.
Currently listening to The Clash on Spotify: Check out my Punkd playlist.
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